If Your Therapist Isn’t Comfortable Talking about Sex, You Need a New Therapist
Therapy is a place where you should feel free to explore the full range of your identity - including your sexuality. Sex is deeply tied to how we experience connection, identity, and meaning in life, yet it’s often overlooked or avoided in therapeutic spaces, by both clients and therapists.
Sexuality Is Part of the Human Condition
Sex is one of the most profound ways we connect with others and understand ourselves, touching on themes of vulnerability, desire, and intimacy. When you avoid discussing sex in therapy, you leave out a vital part of what it means to be human. A therapist who is comfortable talking about sex can help you explore its role in your life, giving you the freedom to ask questions like:
What does sex and physical intimacy mean to me?
How does it connect to my values and relationships?
What fears or anxieties might be holding me back?
Understanding the Roots of Shame and Desire
Our beliefs about sex - what’s “normal,” what’s “right,” and what’s “wrong” - are influenced by family dynamics, cultural messages, religion and past relationships. These unconscious patterns can create shame, confusion, or fear that impacts your sexual expression and relationships.
Were you taught that sex is shameful or taboo?
Did you grow up in a family where open discussions about bodies and desires were discouraged?
Have past relationships or experiences left you with insecurities or uncomfortable feelings?
By understanding where your feelings around sex come from, you can begin to challenge the narratives that no longer serve you.
Healing from Past Wounds to Create a Fulfilling Future
Whether it’s trauma, heartbreak, or shame, our past often impacts how we experience sex in the present. If past experiences, such as infidelity, betrayal, or sexual trauma, have left you feeling disconnected from your body or hesitant to trust, therapy can prompt compassionate exploration.
You may also want to explore:
How to express desires authentically while respecting a partner’s boundaries.
How to balance fear of rejection with the need for intimacy.
Patterns in how you approach intimacy and vulnerability.
Sex is about more than just being physical - it’s mostly about connection. Through open conversations about sex in therapy, you can better understand your needs, communicate them with confidence, and foster deeper intimacy with your partner(s).
Therapy Is a Space for Your Whole Self
Whether you’re processing past experiences, exploring new identities, or simply wanting to feel more confident and at peace with yourself, your therapist should be at ease having these conversations with you. Therapy should be a place where nothing is off-limits, and everything you want to explore is met with acceptance, curiosity, and care.
